Stuck in Nebraska
Welcome to my world?
YES ASSHOLES, WELCOME!!!
So I am writing this from a bar in the Lincoln, Nebraska airport... LNK for short.
Let's talk about this place.
4 gates.
2 security checkpoints
at least 7 TSAs at each check point
5 car rental counters
2 airline counters
you guessed it, 2 airlines
5 possible destinations
price of 24 hour parking $4, extended stay is about $2
From one end to the other... I would guess about 100 yards... give or take 25
1 bar/sandwich shop
1 gift shop
about 15 cops
another 15 or so TSAs (not counting those at the security gates)
They do however have internet access... wireless... high speed... and it is 3.95 per hour, 4.95 for 2, and 7.95 for 24 hours... I splurged, since I'm here for 4.
So, let's get back to the issue at hand... Why am I here? because I'm a slave to the man, and this is my second week here. Why am I still here? because I missed my flight. Why did I miss my flight? a few reasons... in order of occurance:
1. My boss and my customer's conference call went long... so I left the office at 2:10 instead of 2. (2:47 flight). While driving to drop off my rental (yes, you just leave it in the lot, write the milage, and the stall number... and go) I was driving a bit fast through the airport.... it is about 200 meters long, and about half way through, one of the 20 cops jumps out, and starts yelling at me. "If you weren't on your phone you would have seen the 25 MPH sign right there" he points... yes, I can see it in my rear-view mirror... "Yes office, I am sorry" (I was sober).
So I return my keys, they print me a reciept... I hear an announcement saying there is 5 minutes left... I am already checked in... no problem... I go to the gate, show my boarding pass... I put all my crap down... shoes, belt, gun... you know, the usual things you have with you at the airport.
One of the guys is nice enough to run over to the gate to tell them to wait. Then he comes back, and proceeds to notice that I have about a dozen lighters. WHAT???? Now you may be wondering why I would have a dozen lighters... I have no clue. I have about 2 or 3 on me at all times. I think I've traveled with more, but maybe no more than 4. Why would someone need more than 4??? absolutely no reason. Why do I have a dozen? Well I have 3 in my bag... 1 in the tray, and two in the bag to make sure that I have a spare. the other "few?" Well, they are in the bag with my smoke... $20/ carton here, $55 in Chicago. I got 5 cartons... the guy at the store was nice enough to give me about 9-10 more... They are at the bottom of the bag with the smokes... had no idea they were there... well they proceed to go through all of my bags, every piece of dirty laundry... at least they are thorough. But now my plane is also gone.
Next flight in 4 hours.
I think I'll have a drink. or 20.
Have a great evening.
YES ASSHOLES, WELCOME!!!
So I am writing this from a bar in the Lincoln, Nebraska airport... LNK for short.
Let's talk about this place.
4 gates.
2 security checkpoints
at least 7 TSAs at each check point
5 car rental counters
2 airline counters
you guessed it, 2 airlines
5 possible destinations
price of 24 hour parking $4, extended stay is about $2
From one end to the other... I would guess about 100 yards... give or take 25
1 bar/sandwich shop
1 gift shop
about 15 cops
another 15 or so TSAs (not counting those at the security gates)
They do however have internet access... wireless... high speed... and it is 3.95 per hour, 4.95 for 2, and 7.95 for 24 hours... I splurged, since I'm here for 4.
So, let's get back to the issue at hand... Why am I here? because I'm a slave to the man, and this is my second week here. Why am I still here? because I missed my flight. Why did I miss my flight? a few reasons... in order of occurance:
1. My boss and my customer's conference call went long... so I left the office at 2:10 instead of 2. (2:47 flight). While driving to drop off my rental (yes, you just leave it in the lot, write the milage, and the stall number... and go) I was driving a bit fast through the airport.... it is about 200 meters long, and about half way through, one of the 20 cops jumps out, and starts yelling at me. "If you weren't on your phone you would have seen the 25 MPH sign right there" he points... yes, I can see it in my rear-view mirror... "Yes office, I am sorry" (I was sober).
So I return my keys, they print me a reciept... I hear an announcement saying there is 5 minutes left... I am already checked in... no problem... I go to the gate, show my boarding pass... I put all my crap down... shoes, belt, gun... you know, the usual things you have with you at the airport.
One of the guys is nice enough to run over to the gate to tell them to wait. Then he comes back, and proceeds to notice that I have about a dozen lighters. WHAT???? Now you may be wondering why I would have a dozen lighters... I have no clue. I have about 2 or 3 on me at all times. I think I've traveled with more, but maybe no more than 4. Why would someone need more than 4??? absolutely no reason. Why do I have a dozen? Well I have 3 in my bag... 1 in the tray, and two in the bag to make sure that I have a spare. the other "few?" Well, they are in the bag with my smoke... $20/ carton here, $55 in Chicago. I got 5 cartons... the guy at the store was nice enough to give me about 9-10 more... They are at the bottom of the bag with the smokes... had no idea they were there... well they proceed to go through all of my bags, every piece of dirty laundry... at least they are thorough. But now my plane is also gone.
Next flight in 4 hours.
I think I'll have a drink. or 20.
Have a great evening.
posted by 0verfiend at 3:59 PM
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