I need to write more!

So I really let this thing slip, and it seems like I need a little bit of an outlet. One of the reasons that I haven't been writing is that I met a girl. Well, actually I met this girl a while ago, but it is not until fairly recently that I started having some very strong feelings... well, if you look about the time I stopped going nuts and fucking anything that moved, that's about the time I started thinking more about her as a closer friend. It is funny how when you have feelings for another person, and just one person (yes, very stange for me), that you tend to put everyone else away, and not care. I don't think it just so happend that the rest of women went away, but it just seemed like I didn't care that they were around, or really not even noticed that they were. My attention was consumed by this one person. Oh well, it's been a long time since it happend before, and it was a good feeling. In the more recent past, it seems we've had somewhat of a falling out (understatemnt), and now it is more of a relationship that I had with my previous girlfriend... that is we piss each other more than anything, and make each other very miserable. Something like when we don't enteract, we think well of each other, and otherwise fangs come out.
At the end of the day, we never dated, not ever a possibility, but I am glad I was able to learn that I was able to care about another person as much as I did, and I am also glad to learn that I really should learn to shut up and not open up to people :) Great lessons from a good teacher.
Where am I now? I have no idea. I still think very highly of her, but I refuse to be used, or be in a one sided situation. I expect the same from all my friends, so why not from her. I am open (for good or bad), and honest... and I would prefer brutal honesty to considerate lies. And by lies, I guess I also mean not being open in general, or straight forward. I want to be able to cary on some relationship with her, because I can probably put her ina category of one of the most interesting people that I have met, as well as having a good heart and just more possitive things that I can mention here. At the same time, she seems to have a problem saying things, or accepting what other people say to her, and this makes it very difficult to talk to someone...
I guess we live to see what happens as life goes on!

Why do I get myself into these situations?

I was also called a smart ass, a know-it-all, and an ASSHOLE today :) this amused me to no end. I haven't been called an asshole (in the full meaning of the word) in a long while. Maybe I have gone soft, and maybe I need to fix that.