Thinking, talking, doing...
Last couple of days I've been thinking a lot. In fact, I haven't been able to sleep - at all! Two nights with no sleep, then I try to make sure I sleep and get woken up 4 hours later. Getting used to sleepless nights may be the way to go.
I am usually very good at saying nothing, and life being good, but I really wanted to talk to someone.
After thinking for a long while, it turns out I can't talk to anyone. Flying solo, seems like I've been doing this a long time - but it is more real every day.
Let's see where this takes us.
I am usually very good at saying nothing, and life being good, but I really wanted to talk to someone.
After thinking for a long while, it turns out I can't talk to anyone. Flying solo, seems like I've been doing this a long time - but it is more real every day.
Let's see where this takes us.
posted by 0verfiend at 9:16 PM
7 Comments:
A year, a year since I've posted anything.
And yet nothing has changed.
You are writting again. Maybe that's a sign that you are getting better.
No one to talk to? I know the feeling very well. I am here if you ever decide that I am the right person to talk to.
I misread your post. You said "I can't talk to anyone" which means there are people to talk to, you just do not want to share your thoughts and feelings with them. Nevermind my previous comment.
Have a good night sleep.
You can't talk to people because you can't be honest with them. And I can't talk to you for the same reason.
I choose not to talk to people to not bring them down. If I openly talked to everyone about you (as an example), not many good things would come out of it. So I don't.
And no, that is not to say you have never been honest with me. Some of the things you've said I do think to be true. You said that you think that everything I do is against you - I believe you really do think that. You've said that I'm a horrible person - I do believe that that is really how you feel as well. You've said you hated even thinking of me, much less being around me or interacting with me - yes, it seems to be true as well.
I'd prefer not to go on; in particular on here.
As always, you do not remember anything beautiful or positive what I said. And I said much more positive things than negative things, but you just do not want to hear anything positive. You chose to concentrate on negativity, on things that were said when I was mad or very upset with your behavior. Your actions create my reactions and vice versa.
I wish you all the best. Hopefully, one day you will be able to see the big picture and appreciate things that you chose not to see now. Now, enjoy every moment of your precious life.
You do not build trust overnight. It takes time, the right person, many life experiances,the right level of understanding and many other things. Try to analyze your behavior and yourself and see why we did not build trust (do not only blame me for it) if this still matters to you. If not, just enjoy your weekend.
It is easier to say "you are not honest" when someone did not share everything with you, than to try to understand the other person; build the right level of trust and a strong bond so people do trust you to the point when they voluntarily want to share their life, thoughts, feelings with you. But this takes time, courage and work. It is much easier to turn around and yell "you are not honest" every time someone makes a little step to get a little closer.
Well…you have being thinking; talking, doing and you are flying solo. As you said…Let’s see where this takes you.
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