Afternoon funnies

Q. What did the banana say to the vibrator?
A. Why are you shaking she's going to eat me.

Q. What is the difference between a woman and a washing machine?
A. You can bung your load in a washing machine and it won't call you a week later.

Q. Why don't women wear watches?
A. There's a clock on the stove!

Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance?
A. Women don't get blow jobs while they're driving

Q. How does a guy know if he has a high sperm count?
A. If the girl has to chew, before she swallows.

And my favorite...

Q. Three words to ruin a man's ego...
A. "Is it in?"

AWB vote on September 8th, GAH!

WHAT THE F*CK ARE THESE POLITICIANS THINKING?

The Assault Weapons Ban expired a few years back I think... it was a crap piece of law. But thank got it is over. Illinois is one of maybe a handful states that don't issue carry permits. This sucks... but again, you live with it, if you can't do anything about it. But now this... They essentially want to make all guns illegal... NO FIREARMS AT ALL!!! Even to own them. Here is the link to the text of what will be voted on September 8th.

Full Text

If this passes, and people currently own (legally) any weapons... you have 3 options, move out of Cook county (or make sure the gun is out of Cook County), de-militarize the gun... (make sure it can no longer fire), or give it up to the State Sheriff’s office. I've heard rumors that they are going to go as far as having raids on people that have guns to seize them... this is like a publicity stunt to make sure people are surrendering their weapons.

This is being pioneered by Daley (of course). Damned asses are doing everything in their power to f*ck people over, and the sheep are believing them. There were actually some pamphlets sent out... on the pamphlets, pictures of machine guns of huge calibers (which are illegal, and rightly so), they were mislabeled as guns that are legal. Of course, some that don't know this get scared and say, of course we need gun control. Well, I am all about gun control. There is no need for people running around with anti-tank guns mounted on their Wranglers... but there are also limits. My Glock is perfectly legal. And there is no reason why I can't defend my home, and my country if need be. There is a reason those provisions were written into the constitution.

I did talk to a buddy sergeant of mine from the local precinct, and he says he doubt this will pass. I am seeing the opposite though. I told him that if he comes to collect my guns, people would be getting them hallow-point first. .40SW hallow points do a hell of a job! >:

I got 419ed!

This is sweet, I haven't been in a ver very long time... the grammar is actually getting much better.

From Dr.John Fanala,
Project Director of the Nigerian
National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC).
Lagos Nigeria
E-MAIL;johnfanala@box.az

Attention Sir/Madam

I am Dr.John Fanala,Project Director of the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC). My Committee is principally concerned with payment of all contract awarded from 1998 to date, in order of priority as regard capital projects of the NNPC.

The information we gathered from the Foreign Office of the Nigeria Chambers of Commerce and Industries is so positive as to convince us that you would provide us with solution to a money transfer deal valued at Thirty One Million United States Dollars and subsequently a joint business venture. In the course of our duties as values, and project inspectors for the on-going liquefied Natural Gas(LNG) project, we have over-invoiced the value of some jobs done by foreign contractors for the NNPC to the tune of US$31M. As follows: -Computer optimization and Installation $16,000.000.00,Installation of 250,000.00 Monax Turbine$10,000.000.00,Turn Around Maintenance $5,000,000.00 Our aim of over-invoicing this payment is to divert the excess amount to a discrete account abroad.

This fund is now floating in suspense account at the Central Bank of Nigeria(CBN).This is the fund my colleagues and I have decided to transfer into your account since we, as civil servants are not allowed to operate or own foreign account.The money will be shared as follows after
transfer:30% for you (Account Owner)60%for me and my colleagues 10% to off-set both local and international expenses that Would be incurred in the course of this transaction.

To be able to claim the funds, we will be Surporting your company to be the original contractor / beneficiary of the funds so all procedures for international transfer shall be strictly followed,as we have worked out all modalities for a swift and riskfree transfer. If this proposal satisfies you, please contact me with the following important informations viz:

(1)Your Full Name and Contact Address,
(2)your Bank details for easy transaction.
(3)Your Personal Phone / Fax Numbers for easy communication.

Take note that upon the reciept of the above informations this transaction will last for 14 working days from the time we submit the required information,as all Modelities concerning this transaction have been worked out and it is completely risk free.Please be informed that this subject
is classified sensitive. Therefore treat the transaction with utmost confidentiality and urgency.

Yours Faithfully
Dr, John Fanala
Project Director(NNPC
E-MAIL;johnfanala@box.az

Drama...

Why do people love drama??? or want to create drama???

When there is no drama, things are good, and I am happy... but I guess for some this si not enought, and they want more...

Silly foreigners

So yeah, this is a thing of beuty!

Although it hurts to see all those bonfires, it is funny as hell to see the reporter make an ass out of himself.



Launch in external player

Another Funny South Park

I found this... and it's great! If any of you have seen The Aristocrats, You'll love this!


Launch in external player

This is F_CKING Great! (now stop stealing our signs!)

Man, what a good time! A very f_cking funny story!

Been a long time

So I guess I should post something, as some of you have started asking me "what's up" and "what's new?"

I think I am just not a very excitable person, because it is hard for me to remember things, and I don't seem excited or impressed by then... so let's go back a few weeks.

I think I will try to date things to when they happend... let's try :)

I also got out of my Speeding Ticket, yup, the officer was not there so it was dismissed. From a DUI to a trip to the court house... I love this country :)

Now I am tired, and I think I will be going home.