oh well

Another weekend in the books.

Two nights
Two bars
Two bathrooms
Two whores.

People actually took pity on the poor whore. They should have had her swallow.

Lost ph0ne

Damn it!!!

I lost my phone.

I am realizing I know about two numbers off hand. One is my ex girlfriend, the other is my mom. Scarry, because I don't particulary want to call either.

It goes directly to voice mail, which means it is out of battaries or some wh0re swapped their SIM cards.

Got a bone.. .neah, fuck that... two bones if someone can get it back to me in a day or two. $200 for a damned phone... DO IT!

alright, enough of this... on the the EXs... so I get a drunken call from her on Friday... drunken calls were bad from her when we were dating, and I wanted to have nothing to do with it. I would have loved to post some text messages, but the phone is gone... anyway... I end up talking to her the next morning, and other than a hangover... she tells me that she was making out with some guy... which is very not like her... and she wanted to get nailed by this guy... again not like her, but she didn't... which is like her... but this dude was married, and was a sexy 30 something from what I understand... Kids may or may not have been involved. Anyway, the story was much better when I heard it. She is slowly turning into her best friend the home-wrecker. Gotta love Peoria girls :)

So, from what I hear... Jimmy Mounie fucked a girl named Jill in Lanse, MI

Funny Stuff

So last night, I was talking to my boss's wife, and we were discussing how women, here in America, are not very attractive. Don't get em wrong, there are pleanty of hot women here... but in general, mostly are pigs. She is from France... and I'm Russian. The quality is a gazillian times better in either of those places. Back to the present... This morning I'm reading some stuff on the Tucker Max site. and what do I see??? This quote:


Hey Chicago Girls: WHY ARE YOU ALL FAT WHEN THESE GIRLS [he was in Canada] ARE SKINNY?? ITS COLDER IN MONTREAL THAN CHICAGO, SO YOU CAN'T USE THE COLD WEATHER EXCUSE ANYMORE YOU FAT FUCKING SOWS. I expect all of you to lose 30 pounds immediately.


And for all of your viewing enjoyment, here are some deefinitions of "Love is..."

So I'm back...

In town for the weekend. I love this city. Tons of idiots out there for me to fuck with.

So started out with a crawfish boil at my boss's house. Good times. Any time there's a reason to get plastered, it's a good time :) On the way back into the city, I'm driving along, minding my own business, when out of nowhere this prick pulls up in his Prelude. I have tons of respect for Preludes, nice car... Booger used to have one. But this guy is being a prick, so I figured some racing would be in order. We start weaving in and out... and my car still has the governor in it, so I can't go above 113. So we're driving down Edens... he jumps a head a bit, I jump a head a bit... nothing overly exciting, and WHAMM! right at the merger there's a State Trooper. At this moment, the Prelude is in front, and the Trooper almost sideswipes him pulling out behind him. The guy swerves, and comes to a stop on the shoulder right by Addison... with some nice blue lights reflecting off of the blue paint :). I love this country!


After this I decided to add to the insanity with a few more beers and a few more shots. Saw MFick, Weasel and a few other charecters; couldn't decide if one of MFick's friends was hot enough to persue... decided against it for fear she was not up to standards.

Got a parking ticket for leaving my car by a hydrant... hell, I'm not walking more than a few feet in as bad of a condition as I was in. Finally went to the local place for last call, and now home.

Oh man.

Already a good start to the weekend.

So as I am walking back to the couch with my (well deserved) beer, I see a message on my phone. I think to myself that as bad as I want to call him, I will have to check my message. On the fone is Eugene, I was just about to call him. He asks me if I wanted to go to the same place I was about to call him about.

2 hours later, I am leaving my place... 2 hours and 1 minute later he I talk to him, and he said he and the boys were waiting... he was about to roll one.

When I walked up to his door, my cig was still burning. And as I walked in, he was just getting done. I got to his house faster than he rolled a J.

I felt like Mario A.... I got here in less than 5 minutes.

More to come.... I can feel it!

By popular demand

People asked for pictures from my trip to Russia.

Enjoy!

It's the small things...

That make me smile...



:)

Rough Saturday...

Maybe I'll write about it more when I rememebr more details...

These made me smile the next morning though... or rather afternoon.

Some things I rememebr:
Drinking lots of vodka.
Getting a couple of girls that were ready for a threesome.
Ditching those girls.
Getting White Castles.
Eating sliders while sitting on a curb.
Crawling to a friend's house (basement actually) and sleeping on the couch.
I woke up full of mud, which means I either fell... or fell. :)

Anyway, one of the last things I rememebr vividly: